Rhino's Ramblings - The Language Of Loopholese

By Robert Thomas Opinion/Commentary

It has been a message I have been hearing since almost the beginning of the Covid – 19 crisis and that is the message to stay at home.

The other message has been if you must go out you must practice social distancing which means you must maintain a two meter distance from another person.

It has lead to some ridiculous things from ordinary everyday citizens not just here in Moose Jaw and Saskatchewan but really all over the country as people look for a legal way out of social isolation.

It’s a growing movement as people look for something called loopholes and a new language called loopholese.

Now loopholes have always been the bread and butter for lawyers, accountants and teenagers looking not to be grounded for generations.

Not the stuff most regular everyday honest folk spend their idle time looking for that is until we have had this pandemic.

We have seen it happen more than once if we really think about it.

Honest people stretching the purpose and intent of the public health orders from a circle to a square so long as nobody gets hurt or I should say infected.

People bending things it seems until they almost break all the while hoping that the police aren’t nearby with their trusty tape measure and ticket book.

There has been drive-in church meetings which although technically not in breach of the Saskatchewan Health Authority's (SHA) regulations voluntarily shut themselves down for Gregorian Easter due to what might happen.

There are parades of vehicles running all over the place from one end of the country to the other for whatever cause that can be found. All looking for some moral justification to find a loopholese way out of the purgatory called social isolation. Just do it for a good cause.

Anything to get out what for many is now a month of house arrest.

There are people out plying their trade right now for no pay, volunteering or for a donation.

Technically they have been shutdown by a public health order but since they are out and about and not charging anything just a donation they are free to ply their profession.

It’s sort of like a couple of guys out for a beer in Crescent Park. So long as you keep it undercover in a brown bag and don’t draw attention to yourself, you are OK.

With that thought in mind I spoke to someone higher up the food chain in life on just what the rules are when it comes to being out and about.

First off the entire intent of all the measures is to try to stop the potential spread of COVID – 19.

But since this an opinion column looking at the legal loopholes to bend the Province’s rules to get around being ticketed here are some of the ways you can do it.

Under a strict letter of the law you cannot have two people who are not related and/or living in the same household sitting within two meters of each other in a vehicle.

So how do you legally get around the measure and exploit the loophole so you can legally go out and about?

Well it all depends on the type of vehicle you own and if it allows you to be two meters apart from each other.

To accomplish this you need a larger vehicle which allows for it.

And then it just depends where you and your friend sit yourselves inside the vehicle.

So let’s take a look at two of the most popular vehicles out there – the mini van and SUV.

Given which model you are in you can have a driver and then in the back seat – making sure there is a two meter distance – between you and your friend who is not related and/or living in the same household - are now safely loopholed and not breaking the rules.

So let’s extend this loophole even further and see just who it applies to.

Well it applies to everyone under the concept called the Rule of Law.

Everyone has to be treated equally under the law.

You have to enforce it equally regardless of people’s ages unless there are certain key exemptions which when it comes to the provincial State of Emergency do not apply.

So I asked those higher up in the food chain on both sides of the equation - those making the rules and those enforcing it - if hypothetically people could not use this as means to go back to yesteryear and go cruising.

You know just like the stuff popularized in American Graffiti.

The answer to the question is yes.

Could I have just stumbled onto a loophole which will allow the City's teenagers and younger people to legally go out and have fun with their friends?

And the answer to this question is yes.

That is so long as you follow the rules of who you have in your vehicle under the rules set out by SGI.

So I asked further and this is where this all gets dicey but let’s say if you own a ride sharing or a cab can you legally carry multiple passengers?

The simple answer to this one is the vehicle must allow for the two meter distancing at all times.

Essential service or not.

The same applies to City buses.

So long as people who are unrelated and/or not living in the same household are two meters or more apart from each other you are good to go.

Loopholes have set up some very strange phenomenon in other jurisdictions who do not have the same restrictions as we have here in Moose Jaw and Saskatchewan.

People south of the border have brought back something most thought was dead and that is the return of drive-in movies.

People are getting those portable screens setting them up in fields and then enjoying a flick. They are not breaking any of their local rules there.

It is just one of the changes going on out there, it seems everywhere, to find the gold key of escape called a loophole to get around the applicable rules or is it purgatory.

Here in Saskatchewan we have already had Premier Scott Moe say he wants to know why the SHA spoke to a church and had them voluntarily shutdown their drive-in Easter service.

So when it comes down to it is this in itself a direct signal from Premier Moe that so long as people abide by the two meter distancing they should be able to set up a screen and hold a drive-in?

What the Premier has created here is a loophole I am certain those well versed in loopholese are set to exploit.

It is a way perhaps for younger people to hold their graduation ceremonies, cruise and associate without breaking the rules.

Perhaps a nightmare to the local authorities who are out to enforce the rules and stop the potential spread of COVID – 19 but nevertheless legal and fully allowed under the loopholes out there as they exist.

The nightmares must have been running through the heads of the SHA when I posed this question to them.

And why do I say that?

Well at the present time the health authority has curtailed many of the more elective services it provides to help keep open 50 percent of the critical care beds for possible victims of COVID – 19.

You could have a pin drop when I put the question to the SHA.

Then the response it takes away from the spirit of the regulations and may well, by people driving around, create demand on critical care beds if there happened to be an accident involving injuries.

Talk about the nanny state or what. But if you are well versed in loopholese I usually hear the word nanny replaced with the word Nazi. But I digress.

But despite this the SHA could not say I have not found a loophole to allow our younger folk some much needed freedom and the ability to go out and cruise.

I may have found the ultimate loophole a way out of this government mandated purgatory we all find ourselves now living in.

A way which may well hold a key for some of very own local restaurants.

What could not be more 2020 then to see people in a large group of mini-vans and SUVs pre-order food from a local restaurant pull up in front and have it handed to you.

Then head out to a parking lot, staying in your vehicle always maintaining your two meter social distancing, during your unofficial grad.

Following that you can spend the night out cruising making sure at no one time are you ever congregated in groups of more than ten as well as no closer than two meters from one another unless you are related and living in the same household.

Now as far as the photographer or videographer goes they can shoot the event so long as there is not more than ten people involved – including the person behind the camera. Doing otherwise iis breaking the social gathering rules.

With the era of cheap gasoline ushered in with an oil price war between Saudi Arabia and Russia cruising has just become affordable to many.

You can do it each and everyday so long as you follow the rules when it comes to gathering and the all important two meter social distancing.

Just remember you can legally loophole yourself to residential bliss.

Spring and summer is not ruined after all now is it?

Have fun out there but remember just follow the loopholes and bring along your book of loopholese just in case.