Rhino's Ramblings: Cannie-Can-Can

Robert Thomas

When I was a child growing we had a unique game we played called Cannie-Can-Can.
The object of the game was to keep your bat in a hole until a ball was pitched to you, then, as it bounced, you hit it without fowling it off or your can, right behind the hole, causing it to be knocked over. If that happened, you were out. It was a hybrid of Cricket and Kick-The-Can, I guess.

In many ways, the game was one of trickery and guile, where the sponge-rubber ball would seemingly head one direction and then bounce in another. So to it was with curbside garbage collection, which bounced every which way conceivable, in 15 months; but that’s a can the City doesn’t want you throwing anything at.

Starting May 1st, backlane garbage collection for those who had previously switched over to curbside prior to August 1, 2017, is back. Those without back lanes stay with curbside.

So when it comes to the garbage cans (solid waste receptacles for the scientific minds out there) they are kindly asking people to roll them out of the back lanes and to a safe place in their yards.
Sounds simple, now doesn’t it? Sadly, that's not what many are already saying. For them, the cans are staying in the lanes, and really, what is the City going to do? Fine everyone?

Given the need for cash, laying out $50 fines for just over 4700 garbage cans (as a first offense) once every two weeks, plus escalating surcharges from those pleading "not guilty" and losing might be more of a cash cow than photo radar ever will be.

Given the escalating costs of our crumbling infrastructure, maybe it’s a way the City could finance its way to Freedom 55 or at least to paving High Street West.

A cash incentive and at least four new enforcement officers will be lurking down the back lanes, ready to pinch the lazy and forgetful.

Cash for the City, plus, at the same time, maybe a way to keep those people who ride bicycles down the back lanes, looking for recyclables and stealing the occasional power tool from unlocked sheds, on their toes. Armed and dangerous, "Sneakier than a Parking Ticket Commissionaire" might be a great motto to affix to this new force.

One of the big on-line comments I’ve read says that one reason back-lanes were preferred was due to people with mobility issues unable to move the cans; they could just leave them in the alleys.

I don’t ever recall that being said at any public meeting, I attended all of them, but perhaps it has some merit. Maybe the City could issue mobility placards to those for a fee who can prove the true need to leave the cans in the alley.

Sort of like a handicapped spot for trash. Or maybe even designated and properly posted disabled trash can zones parking. All others heavily fined.

It’s just like Cannie-Can-Can; anything is possible with a bouncing rubber ball skillfully tossed by a master.

Already, I personally ran into a situation where I used my experience to take out a rookie in the game. He never stood a chance.

Personally, I live in one of those privately owned lanes and I have already been told by my new neighbour how great it is that they can now just leave their garbage and recycle cans at the back of my fence. It’s not City property, so what can they do about it? The sad fact is nothing. The real fact is that I can.

For you see, it is my property that I pay taxes on where the cans go and I told my new neighbour of a fact they are having a hard time in understanding. They either pull the garbage can back to their property like the City has requested or they simply lose the right to put it in my yard. It’s as simple as that.

Their response was that having it back across that 20 feet is a hassle and its smelly. Hmmmm let’s see, so because they don’t want the smell of the garbage in their yard I have to have it in mine. Tell me how that is being neighbourly?

Nope, they can get off of their able-bodied butts and pull it back across the lane. Otherwise, I simply fence off my entire yard and that’s the end of the back lane and, most importantly, access to their garage. And two blocks are back to curbside.

Truthfully, it's heaven for a guy like me with a driveway.

It’s a big swing-and-a-miss, where the can almost got knocked over.

Or maybe just leave the can there and pay property owners let’s just say rent for the privilege. Or since it is on somebody else’s property they now have the right to fill it with their extra trash. How does that grab you?

Sort of neat how things work out now, isn't
 it?

My own personal thoughts are, and please, remember this is an opinion column, on this issue, Council relented. They listened to the people; now how about the people simply help them out? Opponents who turned up at the Council meeting this was discussed at have agreed to help the City out and pull the cans back into their yards. So why are so many of those who stayed home tossing this one out?

The other option the City has is simple: hold everyone responsible for their cans. If your can is damaged due to neglect and not following the rules, you pay for it. It’s as simple as that.
The other initiative they are asking people to do is start composting. You know, take out those potato peels and grass clippings, cover them in dirt, turn them every once in awhile and spread the rich black soil on flowerbeds, planters, gardens or toss it, with their permission, in your neighbors.

It’s simple, it’s easy and likely in the end it will help prevent a third bin and a looming fee for compostables. And I predict another great future game.

Now will people listen to the City’s plea or quite simply ignore it until it becomes an expensive reality?

With other centres now mandating clear garbage bags only, cameras on trucks, plus weighing all trash heading out to the landfill, the specter of a garbage cop looms large.

Now let’s see about that motto: "Sneakier Than A Parking Ticket Commissionaire", rougher than High Street West, more reliable than…..nah... that likely wouldn’t work.

The Cannie-Can-Can ball just went sideways, fouled and I’m out until next week.