Rhino’s Ramblings - The 61 Year Old Rookie
By Robert Thomas - Opinion/Commentary
“I just need to talk to somebody first, but while you’re waiting, try on those shoulder pads,” Bryan Boys president of Kinsmen Moose Jaw Minor Football League said.
“How does this look?” I responded a couple of minutes later.
“OK except you’ve got them on backwards,” Botys replied.
“Sorry,” was my response.
And thus began my short lived career as the oldest rookie ever to try out in the history of Moose Jaw Minor Football.
Starting my adventure as a 61 year old rookie tryout
I had to explain to Bryan I’d never worn football cleats let alone shoulder pads in my entire life - you don’t have a football team in a school where you had just 70 kids (from Grades 1 - 9) where I grew up.
So I had Bryan adjust all the equipment for me.
As each part of the helmet went snapping into place I felt almost like I was being closed in some sort of claustrophobic environment.
There were mistakes in my suiting up as I’ve never worn this equipment before.
I discovered it’s a lot easier putting on and taking off football cleats without you helmet and shoulder pads on.
Then there were formalities as I was asked to give the league a verbal agreement not to sue them if anything ever went bad.
It’s something I eagerly gave as I thought I’m trying out for the U12 Bulldogs and I am definitely tougher than a 12 year old.
Please note: after my tryout my thoughts about who is tougher have radically changed.
All suited up and “ready to go….”
“So which team do you want to practice with?” Boys asked.
“Oh the Bulldogs,” I said in my bravado.
“You’re not going up against my U12s (under age 12) you’re going up against U14s (under age 14),” Boys responded.
It then hit me I had most likely signed away my life as the 14 year olds are pretty tough.
The first senior citizen killed in Moose Jaw Minor Football history - and dead before I can collect my government pension.
But after a few stretches and a lot of smirks from people on the sidelines I headed off onto the far side of the field to find the U14 Mafia team.
My days of Al Bundy glory at Polk High were just a couple of hundred years away.
Me (in the foreground) waiting for my opportunity to take to the field
As I stood in the background I carefully watched the drills my Mafia teammates were going through so I could match them with perfection.
I went and did three rounds on a drill with the defensive squad where I was to chase and catch my opponent.
I didn’t do too bad and ended up getting caught by the guy I was chasing at about two and a half laps.
I really needed a breather after that.
But I stuck at it and ran it a second time not totally winded but soaking wet with sweat.
I started to cringe thinking about doing it for a second time. I even have a video of that effort.
Then it was off to take a short break followed by a fumble recovery drill.
It was here that I discovered my next big equipment mistake.
I didn’t know how to take my helmet off and since I didn’t bring a squirt bottle or straw it was dump the Gatorade in through the helmet and have a large portion go up my nose.
The defensive coach then was really nice to me and warned me about the next drill.
It was all about about fumble recovery with a lot of back and forth up and down before the ball was tossed and you fell on it.
So as I sat there contemplating my next move I spotted the offence using the sledge so I jumped at the opportunity.
I went from the defensive line to the offensive line in a flash - thereby likely saving my life.
Pushing the sled
And there is even a video of one of my efforts below.
If you listen closely you can even hear the encouragement of the coach while trying not to laugh.
Following the sled I noticed I wasn’t out of gas but I was sweated down right to the bone - more than any of those thrice a week cardio recuperation workouts I am suppose to attend.
It was time to call it a day while I could go out on two feet and not a stretcher.
Besides we were heading towards the hitting part of the practice and knowing me I would end up getting injured with some old guy injury like a broken hip or something along that line.
Just being a 61 year old rookie in the Kinsmen Moose Jaw Minor Football League and surviving to tell the tale was good enough for me.
So it was time to take the obligatory football pose and walk off of the field in one piece with a new appreciation of the game.
The obligatory rookie sports card shot - Robert Thomas member of the 2024 U14 Moose Jaw Mafia Football team
Afterwards as I spoke to Bryan Boys he told me football was a game of lots of stops and starts. But under that helmet you are sweating and working hard.
It’s something I can better understand and attest to.
I had to admit to Bryan this was a better workout than the thrice a week cardio rehabilitation.
“You know what you said you were going to give it a go and you’re a man of your word…and I think you can tell the whole world how hard football is. It ain’t so easy when you’ve got all that gear and running drills,” Bryan said.
Asked if he had a good laugh he replied “yeah I did have a good laugh. But you’re still breathing and still standing. You ain’t a young buck but hey you proved it you can start your football career at any time. It doesn’t matter.”
Of course the conversation moved on to how I felt after my first ever football practice.
I told Bryan I felt not so bad a little winded and man did I put on a sweat.
“If you feel like that tonight you are going to be hurting come tomorrow morning,” he said.
“Oh thanks Bryan,” is all I could reply.
But as I thought about how I’m going to likely feel on Thursday morning it was sort of a feeling of pride for giving it a shot.
And besides if I am really stiff and sore Thursday morning I can always sleep the entire day until Friday morning.
Old people get to do that.
Moose Jaw Kinsmen Football kicks off for another season this Friday night and all day Saturday.
It’s two big days of football.
Friday (August 30th) night is a double header:
6pm: U12 Rockets @ Spartans
8pm: U14 Steelers @ Vikings
Saturday (August 31st) is a double double header
1pm: U12 Chargers @ Lions
3pm: U12 Ravens @ Bulldogs
5pm: U14 Oilers @ Mafia
7pm: U14 Falcons @ Raiders