Lot Brawl 2 Ends With Madness, Bloodshed and Chaos
Story and Photos By Nick Murray
TEAM SYNERGY: CANNONBALL KELLY, BUCKY MCGRAW AND JOHNNY 2 FINGERS - MJ INDEPENDENT photo
The Second Annual Lot Brawl at DNA Cycle took place on Saturday evening, August 5th.
Those in attendance were treated to six wrestling matches, including a Tag Team Championship bout and an Anything Goes, Over-the-Top, Bunkhouse Battle Royal, where weapons were not only legal but highly encouraged, all in the motorbike packed parking lot of DNA Cycle & Service on 9th Ave SW.
The event kicked off with some live music, beer gardens and a food truck.
The first bout of the evening took place between
Tango Tyler Rose v Josh “Cheeks” Holiday
There was nothing subtle about this one. Rose was clearly the heel, angrily shouting at fans and insulting the host city. Cheeks, one the otherhand, was the baby-faced good guy.
TYLER ROSE STRANGULATES CHEEKS HOLIDAY WHILE THE REFEREE CONSIDERS THE MEANING OF LIFE - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
After taking a bit of a beating in the early-goings, Cheeks pulled off a nice comeback, responding positively with the crowd and gaining momentum as the match went on. In the end, he hit some sort of Zig Zag move, slamming Rose’s head into the mat, before securing a three count.
Match 2:
Dixie Dragon v Ray Morrison
Ray Morrison, a long-standing veteran of the local wrestling scene, was fighting in front of a hometown crowd. So clearly the fans were rooting for him to win this one. But he was definitely at a size and strength disadvantage against the masked giant, the Dixie Dragon.
Morrison was slammed on his back five or six times before he managed to secure a takedown of his own. The match went back-and-forth until one dramatic moment where the Dixie Dragon suplexed Morrison from off of the top turnbuckle. Miraculously, Morrison was able to resume fighting and even mounted some more high-flying, high-energy offence.
Ultimately the Dragon would get the win, using a little trickery, illegally holding the bottom rope down, to give himself some extra leverage while attempting an otherwise routine three-count pin. When fans appealed to referee “Bubbles” McFly about the questionable finish, he claimed he didn’t see anything wrong with the way the match ended. He even went as far as to gaslight some fans, claiming an illegal pin was impossible under those circumstances. Either way. The Dixie Dragon was the official winner.
Match 3:
Jacob Creed v Screaming Eagle
Jacob Creed, the crazed cowboy, was none too pleased with Screaming Eagle’s energetic ring entrance. He stood, sombrely watching. As the Eagle ran around the pavement, screaming and shaking hands with all the kids in the parking lot. When the two met in the ring it was a classic “big man v high flyer” showdown.
Screaming Eagle was Lot Brawl’s first participant brave enough to jump through the ropes, onto the hard ground to execute a flying assault. But taking the battle outside the ring, to the parking lot, turned out to be a bad strategy for the Eagle as Creed took the opportunity to pummel him up and down before tossing him back into the ring.
Once back in the ring, The Eagle made good use of the ropes and turnbuckles, working his fast paced strategy to good effect. Screaming Eagle won the match after hitting Creed with a Hurricanrana from the third turnbuckle and getting the three count from the referee.
Ringside Tag Team Championship Match
Team Synergy v Moses Luke & Joey Vendetta
CANNONBALL KELLY LAYS THE BOOTS TO JOEY VENDETTA WHILE THE REFEREE PAYS CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE RING - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
Moses Luke and Joey Vendetta may be the current Ringside Tag Team Champions, but Team Synergy is no stranger to holding those belts. That was made very clear by Team Synergy’s resident mouthpiece manager Johnny 2 Fingers, as he repeatedly shouted “Three Times” at Luke and Vendetta.
Synergy’s Cannonball Kelly started the match off on a comedic note by tripping as he entered the ring and landed face first on the mat. A bad omen, for sure.
For much of the start of the match Vendetta and Luke dominated whoever was in the ring opposite them. Cannonball and his partner Bucky McGraw continually found themselves on the bad side of a beating.
But eventually the tides did turn and they began to land some offence of their own. Synergy’s strategy seemed to revolve around working over the smaller Vendetta.
The problem with that was that they couldn’t keep him down. Vendetta kicked out of more than a few pins that seemed sure to finish the match. One could argue the ref was a bit slow with his counts.
Synergy worked the “tag team” angle a bit better, holding the advantage by deceiving the easily fooled, serially distracted referee who seemed simultaneously near-sighted and far-sighted.
“That’s tag team wrestling” shouted Johnny 2 Fingers, from ringside.
But the titles would not change hands at Lot Brawl 2. Bucky McGraw and his Moose Javian compatriots would not win the titles back in front of the adoring audience. Moses Luke knocked Cannonball Kelly out of the ring long enough for his team to execute some double team action of their own and get the pin on McGraw.
MOSES LUKE & JOEY VENDETTA RETAINED THEIR RINGSIDE CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
Match 5:
Toxic Tyler James v Josh “Cheeks” Holiday.
Tyler James was originally slated to square off for the North American Championship against the current champion Levi Knight. But Knight was forced to pull out of the fight thanks to concussion protocol.
But the new fan favourite, Josh “Cheeks” Holiday thought maybe he could continue his string of successes and attempt to make a serious title contender out of himself. Cheeks came down to the ring as Toxic Tyler was preening and posing in front of an audience he routinely insulted. Cheeks challenged and James accepted.
James went right to work the second Cheeks entered the ring. He began striking him before the bell even signalled the start of the fight. Despite having fought already and having taken some serious blows, Cheeks was able to make it a competitive brawl.
With the audience screaming “Cheeks! Cheeks! Cheeks!” He kicked out of James’ glorious Perfect Plex that seemed a surefire fight finisher. James looked to the crowd in shock. “That was perfect” he said.
Whether or not he was knowingly paying homage to Mr. Perfect remains unknown.
THAT WAS PERFECT
In the end though, Toxic Tyler James had his hand raised as the winner. But it was Josh “Cheeks” Holiday who came out with the most fervent supporters.
Main Event:
Bunkhouse Brawl Battle Royal
THE DIXIE DRAGON BRUTALIZING RAY MORRISON WITH A HAMMER - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
All the fighters who had fought earlier came back to the ring for an over-the-top, everything goes Battle Royale.
Some of them looked a little haggard from the beatings they’d already endured in previous fights.
Bucky McGraw, in fact, needed help just walking to ring. Some of the men carried weapons. Some looked terrified. Others looked indifferent. A few looked downright psychotic with glee.
In this fight, weapons were encouraged, blood was guaranteed and suffering was a foregone conclusion.
LIFE IS SUFFERING
There was a hammer, some chains, a cowbell, some baking trays, even a fork which was used to gouge into people’s foreheads.
Early into the battle Cannonball Kelly exacted some sweet revenge when he eliminated Moses Luke by ducking under a clothesline and pulling down on the ropes.
Tango Tyler Rose was eliminated next. Toxic Tyler and Cheeks Holiday went out shortly after that, both were still visibly exhausted from the fight they’d had only minutes before being thrown into this Battle Royale.
After surviving a brutal beatdown with a hammer, Ray Morrison eliminated the Dixie Dragon, enacting some revenge of his own. But it wasn’t long after that Morrison was also thrown over the top.
After only a few minutes the ring had been completely cleared out except for Cannonball Kelly and Joey Vendetta. Both competitors’ faces were covered in blood thanks to being smashed with an array of brutal weapons.
Someone handed Vendetta a chair from outside the ring. Cannonball provoked him to use it, offering his bloody forehead up for a free whack. As Vendetta deliberated on whether or not to clobber him, Cannonball kicked him in the groin. Masterfully outwitting his rival. Thus began the evening’s true mayhem: a hardcore showdown between Cannonball Kelly and Joey Vendetta.
CANNONBALL KELLY, DRIPPING BLOOD, ABOUT TO ADD JOEY VENDETTA’S SKULL TO HIS COLLECTION - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
At one point, Cannonball requested some more chairs from the audience and the kids seated front row were more than happy to oblige. The ring was soon littered with foreign objects. An extended battle of chair strikes ensued and the bloodied and mangled faces of the combatants only got more bloodied and mangled.
A SYMPHONY OF CHAIR STRIKES - MJ INDEPENDENT PHOTO
Cannonball Kelly placed two chairs beside each other, then drove Vendetta’s head through them with a vicious pile driver that left the Vendetta near dead and the chairs in a crumpled and destroyed mess.
Cannonball wasn’t done yet though. He then attempted to knock Vendetta unconscious with the aid of some brass knuckles handed to him by Johnny 2 Fingers. Vendetta bravely fought back, throwing Cannoball, painfully, onto the collection of busted chairs in the centre of the ring.
Then Cannonball Kelly used a cheese grater on Vendetta’s face. But Vendetta kept fighting back. He wouldn’t allow the big man to throw him over the ropes.
After mounting some offence of his own, Vendetta left the ring (under the ropes; completely legal), went to his truck and brought back with him a couple bags of thumbtacks.
As Cannonball struggled to get to his feet, Vendetta opened the bags and dumped the tacks to the mat. The flicker of sunlight reflecting off the steel tacks marked an ominous tone.
Vendetta was near to slamming Cannonball onto the tacks but Cannonball fought back, reversed the situation, then scooped Vendetta up, choke-slam style, hoisting him over his head and onto his shoulders he Power Bombed Vendetta directly onto the waiting thumbtacks.
The “oohs” and “aahs” from the crowd were nearly as deafening as the wet thud Vendetta’s body made when it crashed onto the mat.
The ring looked like a haunted graveyard scene in a scary movie, the snapped limbs of broken chairs erect like skeletal carcasses. Cannonball then gathered up the limp, lifeless and tack-riddled body of Joey Vendetta and tossed him over the ropes.
What a finish.
Cannonball Kelly was the winner of the Bunkhouse Brawl Battle Royale Main Event at Lot Brawl 2.
His character arc complete in a matter of forty minutes. He went from being the butt of Ringside’s jokes, tripping and falling, face first into the ring, in his first match, to winning a bloody brawl in shocking, violent fashion in his second.
Get this man a title shot.
Ringside Wrestling’s next event is at the SK Built Gym, in Regina, on August 26th.